”“What? They’re really very similar. In fact, it’s entirely possible mayo is actually just factory workers’ jizz in a jar.““That is entirely possible," I agreed with a laugh. "But you won’t make enough.”“Oh yes I will. I haven’t had time to jack off all week.”“That's nice, but still don't want it on my burger. Why waste it like that?”“What’s the big deal? I've cum inside your buns before,” he quipped."Well, that much is true.”“Hey, instead of getting my cum all over your glutes, I’m going to get it all over your gluten. Hahaha.”“Nuh-uh." I stood firm. "No jizzburger."It was my turn to crack a joke. "So is this what people mean when they cook a nice meal for you and they say, ‘the magic ingredient is love?’” Jeff's face looked more serious. “God I hope not. That’s what my uncle George says about his barbeque.”“Red or Carolina style?”Now it was his turn to say, “eew.”“Honey mustard?”“Okay, now that's just gross.”“Ohhh, I get it," I mused, driving the punchline home. "It's Alabama. Looking back on it now, it was astonishing that it had lasted as long as it had. I was in Austin, Texas, for a series of meetings with a key business partner, and enjoying being taken around and shown the sights. One evening, my host, a likeable guy called Tom, said he was taking me to the best club in the city, but I had better be ready to dance, as there were lots of lovely women who went there. I took that as a rival bit of Texan hyperbole and went along happily with his suggestion. The club was huge, tables around the sides, a long bar at one end and the stage at the other. The sound system was real state-of-the-art stuff, which meant deafening, but the band was great. Once we'd grabbed a cold beer and found a table, we settled in for the duration. After about a half hour, the singer, a sultry, dark- haired, dark-eyed woman, announced that the next one would be a ladies' invitation. The set started and couples took to the floor. Imagine my surprise then when I was confronted by.
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